understand me, please

During the recent puja vacation I did not go to my village deliberately, while others, uncle,aunt and their children went. I knew a visit to home would not have been a pleasant affair. Given that I have been disqualified from sitting in the final exam resulting a loss in a year my parents would have only talked about this certain mishap that I had incurred upon myself only because of my , I cannot deny the fact, carelessness and negligence. On every slight opportunity that they would have had they would have certainly broached the subject and point out endlessly how I myself had landed my life and future prospect in a mess. Presence of uncle who is too happy to find fault with me would have only made things difficult for me. So I stayed back. However I had my suspicion. And yesterday when everyone returned from their weeklong stay at Malda the suspicion proved to be a valid one. My father came too alongwith them and from the very start he had only one thing to speak about. I told him repeatedly that I don't want to talk about the past but he kept on going on and on till it was dinner time. I was really frustrated when he resumed his harangue after the dinner was over. I actually got angry with him. I spoke in loud voice. I asked him why they were looking to make my life more difficult. I told many other things that I should not have said. Afterwards I felt very bad. But what could have I done? I want to forget the past. I want to start afresh with a new zeal and zest but they always keep me reminding me of that past seldom . I understand they all are very concerned about me but perhaps they should understand me.